Saturday, 23 September 2017

My Crown is Back in Place after Getting Back on Plan with Weight Watchers Six Pounds Lost and Ready to Reign

My official journey began at 308 pounds.  I wish that I had been more with it, more tech savoy and more organised to have blogged, YouTube'd, Instagram-ed, Tweeted and Snap Chatted along route.  Funnily enough, most of these platforms were yet to be created or in their infancy when I started 12 years ago.  So when I think about it that way, I feel more positive about arriving today at 159.5 pounds, having only dipped into sharing at times and then back out, and finally being in a place to keep up with myself.  I might not be making sense; but, the conditions that I live with, Lupus and Fibromyalgia have a huge impact on my energy, my mood and my brain.  So, I guess, I am right where I should be and some of what I write will have to be retrospectively and that is okay.
Last week I made a pact with myself to start slowly and just blog once a week; when I first began using social media, I wanted to do everything, right away.  I joined every group forum, channel, site and AP I could.  I gave it my all, including buying all of the  necessary equipment to get rolling (cue YouTube:lights, camera, tripod, non-SPF makeup, halo ring thing). Actually, I attacked it all in the same way that I prepare to exercise.  I get the membership, buy all the right clothing, shoes, bags, towels and locks-I go all out, dedicate myself to a daily hour before the birds even sing or just as the dusk creeps in.  I stay with it, learn a few names of the instructors and fellow gym-goers... then I miss a class, another one, then soon I am too embarrassed to show my face; so, I decide to hike and buy the boots, the walking stick, the butt bag for your water...does this resonate? The beauty of living includes all of this wonderful humanness; and I have to believe that the moment of recognising and owning your weakness will be the first step to finding and owning your strength.
With this in mind,  as well as a daily dose of Thyroxine and Hydroxychloroquine, I am happy to go at my pace and set SMART targets with a view to increase my contribution to encouraging others and keeping me motivated!
Writing of SMART targets, in my Gung-ho beginning, when my determination was come hell or high water, I set out to achieve 15,000 + steps a day.  I did become addicted and my friend, OCD started taunting me!  If you don't hit that number, something bad will happen!  Thankfully, I came across a brilliant Ted Talk by Zoe Chance about addiction to, I stopped for awhile, and then I reintroduced myself to an Alta by FitBit. My daily targets are reasonable and inline with FitBit's recommendations where they average your weekly steps and set challenges.  I like this.  I look forward to building on this, sensibly for the long term.  Another target I am working on is being more organised. I have started making lists on Google Keep and in a planner. The sense of achievement when I tick things off, is wonderful.  I never, ever thought I would be able to say that!  My strength is renewing as I embrace and gently replace old habits with new-especially going from organised chaos to just being creative and organised. Now, enough musing, on with this week.
My weigh in day is a Saturday and the weekends are usually easier for me and on my first day back on plan, I made time to get caught up on back copies of Weight Watchers magazines that I had hidden to keep from guilt feelings!  During the week and despite being absolutely busy during every day (and evening) as a teacher (which I love), I felt that tracking what I ate gave me a sense of being in control. I could feel my insides saying, Finally, good food!  I managed to practice two days with Intermittent Fasting -no matter what plan I am on, and even on holiday, I feel so much better when I IF. I had gone virtually two months without fasting and I noticed immediately the result of not doing so as my psoriasis became inflamed.  After this week, combined with WW, it is beginning to calm down.  I know it's not for everyone, but as I bio-hacked my way to finding what works for me-IF, is a winner.
During the week, I use prepackaged meals as a base.  It may sound nuts, but my husband doesn't eat ANY vegetables or fruit-or nuts.  We cook together, but don't eat the same thing-especially as I generally eat a vegetable based meal. I love to cook and experiment; but, when cooking for one, it is more cost effective and less time consuming to pop in a low fat counted meal and bulk it up with vegetables and salads.  On Wednesday, I left for work just after 6:00 am and was out all day until 9:00 pm.  I bought unicorn carrots, baby cucumbers, celery sticks and a tub of low fat humus from Lidl.  I grazed on that all day for 15 smart points; plus at work, I made some Cinnamon Oatmeal for mid-morning.  It kept me going all day, with enough SP left over for a Ben & Jerry's 'sanwich'-my new love for well worth 10 SP. What joy to feel and see my bloated belly flatten a little!
 I have learned over the years as I make a downward trajectory on the scale, that if I don't let a long time pass before getting on track again after a gain, I can lose the weight faster.  It is not so much refraining from enjoying myself when away, it is more about refraining from waiting too long or feeling too upset with myself for gaining that makes all the difference.  I tell myself that no matter what, I am the Queen of my life and I choose how to respond; and I chose be kind to me and not off with my head!
Next week I am delivering assemblies to all our students on Well being.  I feel it is important to practice whatever it is that you preach and not only do you speak about your passions, but you model them in your life as well.  Of course, as I stand in front of them modelling, I had to rethink my wardrobe, naturally!  Actually, it is also a happy byproduct of implementing ways to be more organised- I looked at my clothes to plan ahead for next week and realised that at this same time last year, I was two sizes bigger, so last night I went shopping!  I am all set with outfits ranging in size from 14 to 10-now that is a blog post in the making-what is up with sizes?!  I have set up a challenge to snap each day's outfit for my sisters-I'll write about how that went next weekend-with images.  Monday is a fabulous jade green dress from Zara...
So I start this new week a little more organised, with new clothes and 6 pounds lighter.   It feels great. I know I have 8.5 pounds until I am back at my pre-summer holiday weight. I'll get there and then on to the final goal.  I just think that maybe I need to allow myself to keep my crown on at all times-after all there is so much more to everyone than just a number on the scale.

Live a Voluptuous Life!


Saturday, 16 September 2017

Weightloss Re-Boot, Really? The Dread of Stepping on the Scale-Again.

I have been secretly dreading this moment since August 1st.  How can I admit to feeling anxious when my own core belief is to live life enjoying it robustly with Voluptuous ferocity?  But, I am about to get on the scale for the first time in well over six weeks.  My last post ended with my excitement about an upcoming Women's Wellness event in Monterey where I gave a talk, How to Live a Voluptuous Life No Matter Where You Are On Your Weightloss Journey; it was a magical, awe inspiring, humbling a joyous day of sisterhood.  Then, I went on vacation to Vietnam.  With a wild abandon I soaked up the local lifestyle and cuisine.  I felt my jeans tighten... I responded with a happy sigh and another Vietnamese bowl of piping hot and delicious Pho.  I wasn't worried, I was  at peace, knowing that once I return to the North West of England, I will re-boot and reclaim my control.  
It didn't happen.  Instead, I became consumed with new responsibilities at work, opportunities that I had willingly and ecstatically embraced.  As my desire rose to make more of an impact in my life at work, so too, did my old friend.  My OCD.  Obsessively and Compulsively, I threw all of my efforts and time the past several weeks focusing on fear of failure.  In doing so, my eating as gone out the window-so much so, that my stomach has finally revolted-in both senses of the word: rebellious and with nausea.  It (my stomach) has been growling angrily for over a week.  It is actually punctuating every key stroke with a cacophony of gurgles, grunts, tuts.  This past week at least, has included some vegetable matter; and, last night, I had a birthday meal of a healthy Lebanese mezza.  I think it knows something is about to finally happen.  It is.  In the words of Cher from Moonstruck, I am ready to Snap Out Of It!
My OCD and I had a talk.  I reminded it that I am okay if I am not perfect.  I don't need to ruminate hours into the night, keeping me from the precious sleep that I need to function at my best.  I used my pal, Mindful Beditation.  As for my fixed minded fear of failure, I reminded it about Dr. Carol Dweck, and that failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. Rarely is there success without failure and I am not defined by my failure.  Whatever the weight.  I am still okay.  Whatever our weight.  We are all still okay.
Just a reminder from my last post:
I suppose it is time to wrap up this post-just to finish by saying that my current weight is 155 pounds-or, 11 Stone 1 pound.  
Bear in mind, I didn't beat myself up after I didn't lose the extra seven pounds; but, I did weigh 151 pounds before I left for the summer. 
I will be right back with my weight.  Big breath. 
165.5 pounds.  11 Stone 11.5
Okay, I am fine.  I own it.  
I have a plan.  I have Weight Watchers.
Until next week.
I am Voluptuous.
Volup Vavoom